


The Nightmare Before Christmas

by SuperstarMorgan



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Character Death, Christmas, Death, F/M, Guns, Heavy Angst, Injury, M/M, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 09:10:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17301848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperstarMorgan/pseuds/SuperstarMorgan
Summary: For some reason, the Doctor wasn’t a fan of Christmas. Hoping to get him into the holiday spirit, you go shopping for presents together. When things start to go downhill quickly, you find out why he doesn’t like the Christmas season.





	The Nightmare Before Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also on my Tumblr if you'd rather read it there: https://madboxwithagirl.tumblr.com/post/181365990334/the-nightmare-before-christmas
> 
> Warnings: Death, dead bodies, blood, guns, zombies, people changing into zombies, injuries, heavy angst
> 
> Enjoy!

“I can’t believe you wrapped me into this,” the Doctor pouted as you looked through a rack of clothing, looking for a nice sweater to give as a Christmas gift to a friend.

“Did you just make a gift wrapping pun?” you smirked, knowing that he hadn’t meant to do so. You weren’t one to pass up a good pun, however. He groaned, annoyed with himself.

“Stop it, you,” he scolded, waggling his finger at you as if you were a small child. “We could be absolutely anywhere else in the universe doing absolutely whatever we wanted, and you chose to go Christmas shopping in a mall on a planet inhabited by humans? C’mon, wouldn’t you rather go to a planet that has rainbow snow? Because I can take you there, you know. Each color tastes different! There’s strawberry, cookie dough, we can’t forget banana, mint, orange…” You rolled your eyes as he rambled on, talking about the vast amounts of snow flavors, like it was the most interesting thing in the universe.

“Doctor,” you interrupted as you pulled away from the clothing rack, sweater in hand. “I get that humans aren’t the most interesting creatures to you, but it’s nice for me to be around my own kind every now and again. Plus, we’re not even on Earth! I kept that in mind when I asked to come here!” You bumped his shoulder with your own, trying to get him to smile. “Listen, after we’re done here, we can go and taste test different snow flavors, alright?” He glanced over, noticing the warm look in your eyes. He sighed and nodded his head in agreement, a small curve appearing on his lips. He just couldn’t say no to you.

“Fine, you win. But! Don’t you think that we’re going to stay there for only a little while. We’re staying until we’ve tried every flavor possible.”

“Even pear?”

“…Except for pear.” You laughed loudly, noting the scowl that had replaced his smile. How he despised pears. You were still chuckling by the time you made it to the register to pay for your items. Bags in hand, you and the Doctor made your way back out into the busy mall. It was Christmas Eve on the planet. Frantic shoppers rushed through the stores, looking for last-minute gifts for their loves ones. Even there, people were still very poor planners. You hadn’t meant to land on such a hectic day, but with the Doctor piloting, you never made it exactly where you wanted to go. Deciding to head to one of the many department stores, you turned right and began walking.

“So tell me, Scrooge, why are you so adamant on keeping me from my Christmas shopping?” you asked as you slipped through the crowd. He had never been huge on the holiday during the time that you had known him. You had tried more times than were really necessary to get him to enjoy the season. Snowball fights, decorating Christmas trees, cookie baking, and even hot cocoa weren’t enough to bring him around. He seemed adamant on avoiding any and all Christmas cheer.

“Nothing good ever happens during Christmastime. I’m certain I’ve told you about my last regeneration. And about those murderous Christmas trees.” You let out a laugh, finding some humor in his misfortune.

“Alright, dying and having near-death experiences at Christmas aren’t exactly at the top of my list of fun holiday activities, but you’ve had those experiences loads of times. It’s just coincidence that some of them have happened during Christmas. I mean, I’m sure you’ve had plenty of run-ins with death on, say, May 27th!” You linked your arm with his as you kept walking, hoping to offer him some comfort. “You’re only remembering those specific times because they were at _signifiant_ times. They’re just coincidences, nothing more.” His eyes traveled towards you, a reassuring smile gracing your face. His head bobbed in agreement.

“Yes, nothing more than just mere coincidences. Speaking of coincidences, did you know that on May 27th, John I of England and Alexander III of Russia were both crowned? Well, several years apart, of course. And Malcolm IV became the King of Scotland! Again, not on the exact same day, but on May 27th nonetheless. And…” You shook your head as he started to ramble yet again. He could talk for hours without stopping if no one intervened.

As luck would have it, it wasn’t _someone_ who intervened, but _something_.

Horrified screams rang throughout the space, people running towards the exits as fast as their legs could take them. Confused murmurs broke out around you, no one knowing what was happening. Then gunshots rang out, some trying to take matters into their own hands. The _pop! pop! pop!_ of the guns forced them to stop questioning and instead try to escape as well. Your eyes meant with the Doctor’s, knowing that whatever was going on was going to have to be stopped by the both of you. As people ran away from the impending danger, you and the Doctor ran towards it like you always did.

What you saw next made your stomach churn, the bile rising in your throat. You skidded to a halt and dropped your bags in shock, taking in the terrifying sight. There, in front of you, were four humanoid creatures kneeling down and feeding on the flesh of dead shoppers. Their skin was a sickly, faded green, some falling off in different places. One of them had an eye missing, the red socket sticking out amongst the pale. Some lay beside the carnage, bullet holes in their heads; the targets of the previous gunshots.

“Zombies…” you breathed out, watching the scene unfold. You felt the Doctor’s hand against your back, the man trying to comfort you and pull you out of your trance. You screamed and leapt forward, scared that the touch had been from one of the changed humans. The pale beings jerked their heads up at the sound, wanting to find the source. As their eyes found you, they rose slowly. You felt the Doctor’s hand grab your own and pull you away as the zombies rapidly charged at you, ready for their next kill.

“Keep running and _do not_ look back!” he yelled, dragging you through the last straggling patrons. You followed his orders, too worried that if you stopped, they would catch you and cause the same cruel fate as their last victims. “We need to find some shelter and wait this out. It’s safer that way,” he said as he tugged you towards a seemingly abandoned department store. Despite him being unable to see the action, you just nodded in agreement, too scared to say anything.

Then, you spotted it. On the ground, directly in the path of your escape, was a pistol. Opting not to think about the gun’s owner and their fate, you placed all of your focus on grabbing it as you ran by. You knew that in your situation, it was better safe than sorry. The Doctor’s sonic was useful, but it was no firearm. As you quickly approached, you leaned down, aiming your hand towards the object.

“Wait, what are you do-“ You grasped at the gun, knowing that it was your one and only chance. Your fingers touched the barrel, fireworks going off in your head. You were doing it! You were going to protect yourself and the Doctor and you were going to make it though the apocalypse just fine! Then, without warning, you were jerked away from the pistol.

“No!” you cried out, turning back to watch the gun get further and further away. “No!” you yelled again, but this time out of anger. You dragged your feet into the floor to the best of your ability and pulled your hand as hard as you could, effectively slipping out of the Doctor’s tight grasp. You heard him yell out your name, panic in his voice, but you ignored him. You _had_ to get that gun. You hurried back towards the weapon, aware that the group of zombies were close. You dove forwards, arms and fingers outstretched. Once more, you felt the cool surface of the pistol beneath your fingertips, this time getting a firm grip on it.

You had no time to celebrate your victory, the zombies having caught up to you. Your heart raced in your chest, the realization of your mistake catching up to you. You heard a strangled voice scream your name, the sound nearly being drowned out by the beat of your heart. On impulse, you raised your arms up, holding on tightly to the weapon in your shaking hands. Four shots rang out, followed by four soft thuds on the linoleum floors. You took in rugged breaths, adrenaline running through your system. The zombies lay dead in front of you, blood oozing onto the floor.

You felt a rough tug on your shoulders and then you were running again, the Doctor pulling you into the store. Doing a quick once-over to be certain there were no undead beings within, he let go of your hand and found the gates used at closing time, pulling them shut. He sonicked them and checked their durability, making sure that nothing could get in. Once he was certain that it was secure and safe, he turned to you, anger in his eyes.

“What were you thinking!?” he roared, stalking towards you. In that moment, you found yourself more afraid of him than of the zombies. “You could have been _killed!_ Or worse, you could have _turned into one of them._ And for what? A _gun?_ ” You backed up, the Doctor’s wrath nearly making you cower in fear.

“It’s to keep us safe! Didn’t you see me kill the ones who were chasing us?” you argued back, trying to appear strong.

“And what if the gun hadn’t had any bullets? Or if you had missed? It would have been over for you! I…I could have lost you…” Your shoulders dropped as the anger left his body. You knew that he was right. What you did was stupid, but in the heat of the moment, you hadn’t been thinking of anything except finding a way to keep you both safe. In doing so, you very well could have lost your life or caused him to lose his. You jumped as you heard rattling against the gates followed by low moans. The creatures were trying to get to you, luckily to no avail. You winced, knowing that the harsh noises of the gun drew them to you.

His jaw tightened at the sound, knowing that had he waited only a few extra moments, they would have made it to you. You sighed as you looked at the Doctor, knowing that once you made it back to the TARDIS, you would be scolded even further. Until then, you reasoned, you could at least try to lessen the blow. You willed your legs to move, beginning to walk towards your friend to comfort him and apologize.

Without warning, you heard a raspy cry and felt something grab ahold of you. The gunshots and your shouts had drawn one out of hiding, the beast hungering for fresh meat. A new shot of adrenaline soared through your veins as you tried to fight the zombie off. The Doctor, a look of fear covering his face, rushed towards you, ready to aid you in your battle. You called out in both shock and panic as you felt a pinch on your shoulder. Before it could cause more damage, you raised your hand, gun still held tightly, and sent a bullet straight through its skull. Its hands slipped off of you as it fell to the floor, dead. You instantly felt a new set of hands on you, these ones pulling you into a tight embrace, ignoring the blood and brains that coated you.

“Are you alright!? Are you hurt!?” He pushed you back and looked you over, trying to assess the damage. He held your shoulders and looked you in the eye so intensely that you wanted to shy away. “I need you to be honest with me. Did it bite you?” You had never seen him look so serious in all of your time traveling with him, but underneath that seriousness was an intense uneasiness. You wanted to say no just to ease his nerves, but you couldn’t do that to him. Even if you did lie, he knew you better than you knew the back of your own hand. He would have known if you weren’t being truthful.

“I…I really don’t know. I felt something on the back of my shoulder, but…” He wasted no time turning you around and lifting your shirt up, not bothering to ask for permission. You heard a sharp intake of air and nearly inaudible whispers of denial. You heard him fumble around in his pockets for a moment before hearing the sound of his sonic, the device scanning you. “Doctor? Is everything alright?” you asked, knowing, somewhere deep down, that no, it wasn’t alright. He put the screwdriver away, pulled your shirt back down, and turned you back around, this time at a much slower pace. When you met his eyes, you held back a sob. The look he held told it all.

You had been bitten.

“Here, c’mon.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulder, hand resting on the bite. He pushed you forward, keeping an eye out for any other lurking zombies. You were shaking violently, unsure if it was from nerves, the bite, or both. You could feel him shaking too, the Time Lord afraid of what was to come. He guided you to one of the store’s large display beds, hastily rearranging the pillows for you. He helped you climb onto the soft mattress and get as comfortable as possible. You expected him to join you, hoping that he would attempt to comfort you. Instead, he paced back and forth in front of you, muttering to himself. You eventually leaned forward and clasped onto his sleeve, forcing him to stop and look at you. You gulped, the look on his face showing complete helplessness.

“Doctor?…Am…Am I going to be okay?” you whispered out, unable to make yourself speak louder. The Doctor just looked at you, his eyes moving over your face as if he was trying to take in every last detail. Unshed tears threatened to spill over and rush down his cheeks, the man trying his hardest to keep them from doing so. His body was rigid, tension spread throughout. You swallowed, noting his actions. “Doctor, please…” He shook his head and placed a hand over the one holding onto his suit.

“I’m so sorry.” The breath caught in your throat, all attempts to allow air into your lungs ending in failure. You finally placed the gun down next to you, the weapon having been held tightly throughout the whole ordeal. You raised the hand up in front of you, examining it for any changes. Your skin, already, was beginning to turn into the diseased green of the monsters that had caused the whole situation. The Doctor’s other hand grabbed ahold of it, trying to give you all the comfort he could offer. Your eyes shot back over to his, trying to ignore the pain in them.

“No. There has to be something. There _has_ to be. The TARDIS. She must have something in the med-bay. Right?” You knew that the chances were slim, but you refused to accept that you were doomed. The Doctor always had a way. He could fix it. He could make you all nice and healthy again and then you would be off on more crazy adventures, narrowly escaping death’s grasp again and again and again. He squeezed his eyes closed and detached his hands from yours, wrapping his arms around your shaking form instead. He whispered apologies into your ear, his warm tears falling onto your neck.

You clawed at his back, trying to prevent there being any space between you both. Your face was buried into his chest, the feel of his twin hearts beating wildly noticeable beneath his clothing. He was mortified at the events that had lead to that point and of the events that would follow.

He was losing you, and he wasn’t ready.

You pulled him into the bed with you, the Doctor allowing himself to lay with you and hold you close. In that moment, all you wanted was comfort from the most important person in your life. You pressed your ear against his chest and closed your eyes, his hearts being one of the most beautiful sounds in that moment.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, knowing that if you hadn’t stopped for the gun, you wouldn’t have drawn the attention of the zombie that had bitten you. You both would have been more alert, so it wouldn’t have snuck up on you. You would have been on your way back to the TARDIS. Once there, you would have gone elsewhere, perhaps the planet with the multitude of snow flavors. Maybe you should have gone there in the first place. You had begged him to come Christmas shopping with you, desperately hoping that he would start to enjoy Christmas if he just had the right experiences. Tears started to soak the fabric of his suit, leaking through until they touched his skin, making him shiver.

“I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I forced you here and now I’m going to-“ You couldn’t say the word, a sob taking its place instead. You were either going to die or turn into one of the undead. You didn’t know which was worse. Instead of going home and spending Christmas with loved ones or staying in the TARDIS and spending it with the Doctor, you were going to lose your life.

“Do you know why I hate Christmas?” a broken voice asked, tearing you away from your thoughts. You pulled away and looked up at the Doctor, his tear-filled eyes closed tightly.

“What? I thought it was because of the trees and regeneration?” you replied, confused by his question. He took a deep breath, willing himself to speak about one of the biggest reasons as to why he didn’t like the holiday.

“As you know, you are not my first companion. I’ve had many before you, all of whom left me in various ways; some willingly and some by means outside out their or my control. But I’ve never told you about the few almost-companions. After Martha left me to continue her life on Earth, I met another woman almost right away. Her name was Astrid.” His arms squeezed you tighter, the appendages holding you like a vice, too scared to let go. “She was a waitress on a space-cruise ship replica of the _Titanic_. Just as it always is with me, trouble wasn’t too far behind. We, of course, attempted to fend off the impending doom.” Tears finally began to appear on his cheeks, the liquid falling into his sideburns. He angrily wiped them away.

“We were going to travel together, her and I, as soon as everything was taken care of on the ship. It was her dream to explore the universe, a dream that I could have easily fulfilled if…if she hadn’t…” He trailed off, knowing that you could put the pieces together. He let his tears fall freely, no longer caring. “It was Christmas. Since then, I’ve had no desire to celebrate or partake in any Christmas traditions. Too many terrible things have happened during those days. And now…” He opened his eyes and let them fall onto your face, causing him to breathe out a pained “Rassilon.” Your pupils were dilated and your skin was completely the wrong color.

You didn’t have much time left.

“Doctor,” you rasped out, your voice having changed as well, “I shouldn’t have-“

“No. Stop that.” He looked deeply into your eyes, taking them in for what was going to be one of the final times. “It’s not your fault. I wasn’t honest with you when I should have been. I could have taken us somewhere else. I-“ That time, you cut him off.

“Stop it, Doctor!” you croaked. “You always blame yourself whenever something bad happens. Some things are just out of your control. This was just bad luck? It’s just coincidence, like May 27th, right?” No matter who’s fault it was, you didn’t want him wallowing after it was all over. If it was his fault, you didn’t want him believing so. He had been through enough. He didn’t need more.

Your eyes widened as you felt a nearly uncontrollable urge to latch your teeth into the Doctor’s flesh. With all the strength you could muster, you pushed him as far away from you as you could, wanting to distance yourself from him. You couldn’t let him share the same fate as you. He tried to crawl back towards you, wanting to examine you.

“No!” you wailed. “Don’t come any closer! I won’t be able to control myself!” You looked at him in despair, knowing that you were coming down to the final minutes. You were turning into one of them, and nothing could be done to stop it. Unless… You looked down next to you, the discarded firearm still where you had left it. You picked it up in your shaky hands and checked to see how much ammo was left in it. There was a single bullet remaining. You inhaled deeply, knowing what had to be done. “Doctor.”

“No.” You locked gazes, the agony in his old, tear-filled eyes prominent. “No, I won’t do it. Not to you.” Your face was filled with despair, knowing that if he didn’t, you would turn. Tears fell quickly onto the bed’s comforter, the fabric darkening.

“Please Doctor,’ you sobbed. “I don’t want to become one of them. Please, please, please.” The Time Lord shook his head, closed his eyes, and bared his teeth, angry at whatever god or gods had lead him to that point. He didn’t have it in him to take your life, but he couldn’t let you turn into a monster. The options tormented him, tearing him into tiny, little pieces. He wanted to block out your pleas for him to end your life, but he knew that there was only one way. He looked back up at you, misery coating his entire being as he made his choice.

He could never say no to you.

“Fine.” You swallowed and leaned over, placing the gun near him before leaning back, desperately fighting against the desire to sink your teeth into his skin. He picked the gun up, hating the feel of it in his hands. His chest hurt with every breath he took and with every beat his hearts made. “I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry. It should have never ended like this,” he breathed out, knowing that no amount of apologies could make up for what had happened and for what he was about to do.

“Please don’t blame yourself,” you replied through gritted teeth, fighting the change. Even so, you gave him the biggest smile you could make. “I wouldn’t trade any of this away, really. I enjoyed traveling with you. Thank you for giving me the most amazing time of my life. I…I love you, Doctor.” All at once, his hearts stopped in their places and his lungs couldn’t bring any air in or out. _No no no no no._ You couldn’t say that to him, not as he was about to end your life. Trying to break him away from his thoughts, you weakly called out to him to no avail. He didn’t want to do it, he couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t.

“Doctor!” A deafening, throaty voice called out his name and he was suddenly charged at, your teeth bared and ready to strike. With no time to think, he raised the gun towards your head and pulled the trigger, the sound ringing in his ears. Your body slumped down onto the bed, no life within it. His eyes were wide as they looked over your sickly body, blood pouring out onto the bedcovers. He dropped the gun on the floor, the clattering not even registering in his brain.

Ignoring the blood and brains, the Doctor scooped you up into his arms and lay back down, replicating the position that you were both in before. He held you close, your body quickly growing cold. He cried, thinking about your final words. _“I love you. Doctor.”_ It wasn’t a surprise to him, not really. He knew that you held intense feelings for him, but you had never admitted them. He never expected you to come clean, and he certainly never expected you to tell him on your deathbed. Clutching onto you, he lay in the bed, hearing the zombies at the gate trying but failing to get to him. He didn’t care if they got through. In fact, he almost wished that they did so he could be with you.

For the Doctor loved you too.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, any and all feedback is welcome!


End file.
